To make up for missing the college mentoring project, I had my sister, Meredith, email me a paper she is working on for her religion class. My sister is a sophomore at a small-ish Catholic school in my hometown in Maryland. I know that a private school in Annapolis is a far cry from the student's situation who are involved in the college mentoring project, but from looking around at some of the posts about tutoring the high schoolers, Meredith seemed to have some similar problems and questions about her writing. The assignment was to write a paper describing a story that has been in her family for a long time and is told over and over again. Then, they were to state their opinion on family stories, how they contribute to a sense of family, and if a family could even be a family without family stories. Additionally, they were to briefly compare their story to a story found in the Bible.
I called Meredith yesterday afternoon and asked her to send me her paper. She said she wasn't done yet, so I asked her what she was writing about. She started telling me a wild array of ideas that seemed to not really have any significance or meaning to her. I also saw the potential that this paper has to mean something to her because it has to do with a family story. I began to sense that her paper would be unorganized and lack a central idea. Of course I didn't tell her that outright, but I asked her what her main idea was. After trying to come up with something, she admitted that she didn't really know, but she thought what she was saying sounded good on paper. So, I began to talk her through sort of a "prewrite" process. I asked her what she thought our family was about, what words she would use to describe our family. (It was difficult to not provide my own insight, seeing as how she was talking about my family too). After giving me a few minutes of good ideas, she had an insight to take her paper in an entirely new direction and start over. After that we hung up the phone. Within a few minutes she called me back with her thesis. The thesis had kind of the same problem as the initial draft -- she was just saying words because they sounded good, but she wasn't pinpointing her idea or driving home her point. So, I asked her again what she wanted her thesis to say. After that, she began to realize what I wanted out of her...to pick her point and stick to it.
A few hours later she called me back and told me that she emailed me her "final" draft. I opened the paper, read it over, and called her back. Her paper was actually good. I told her that her organization was significantly better, and she seemed passionate about her topic. Her main problem was the flow between sentences. I taught her how to use transitions effectively by using an example in her paper. Then she began saying "ooh, so I could do the same thing here..." exactly. Also, her paper lacked a conclusion entirely. I told her that her point would be driven home much better with a conclusion, and she asked me what to write. (She had no problem asking me exactly what to do in her paper, seeing as I am her sister, and I had to remember the 'fix-it-shop idea' and apply the techniques we have learned about in class). I advised her on how I usually write conclusions, but I asked her what she wants her reader to take away from reading her paper. She told me, and her dialogue was a good conclusion in itself.
Reflecting on the experience of helping my sister, I realized alot about the transition between high school and college. My sister said that she has never thought about writing this way, as a personal assertion of what YOU have to say about something. I think a lot of high schoolers are thinking about what their teacher WANTS them to say and are just trying to get through the assignment, without realizing that their teacher most likely wants to hear what they have to say. I think a lot of high schoolers like Meredith would benefit from college students coming and teaching them about writing, especially college students that are passionate about writing and who realize that writing is an excellent form of expression, and that good grades on their papers will just fall into place as long as they are passionate about what they saying.
I really enjoyed working with my sister. I now have so many ideas about how a high school writing class should be taught!
